Hello :)
Today it's been exactly one year since I finished uni, and I'm feeling a little nostalgic. Not nostalgic for my uni days (I don't think any dentist ever wishes to be be back at dental school), but for that feeling of absolute freedom I had when I'd just finished. It was a day we'd all been counting down to for ages and I
can't believe a year has already passed!
* * *
My group was down in Bunbury on our rural rotation. After seeing our last patient's, we filmed some clips for the Final Year video - dancing to Gangnam Style - but with the lyrics changed to "Gum Numb Style". It was a pretty hilarious and very memorable way to end the last day of an extremely long and hard 5 years!
I then headed down to Margaret River where I was meeting up with my family. We had an absolutely perfect weekend... probably one of the best of my life because I just felt so... free. Lunch at Aravina, one of the beautiful wineries, relaxing at the house, bush walks, and walks along the beach. It was perfect :)
* * *
Anyway... I just wanted to write a little something about that weekend because just thinking about it makes me smile. It also makes me think about how different this year has been. It's been great not having to study and I've had so much more free time than I ever have (even when working almost full time), but I kind of feel like I haven't taken full advantage of it.
I haven't been very productive.
While I was still at uni, I had big plans for what I was going to do afterwards. Learn Italian... get fit... get back into dancing again... pick up my cello, just
do
stuff...
But I feel like I haven't really accomplished all that much, and not for lack of time.
All my life I've always had some big goal that I was working towards, and lately (well, this whole year), I've been feeling a little unmotivated, lost even, because I don't know what I want to do next. So I've just been floating and letting life pass me by. I keep flitting from one idea to another, not taking any action and actually just getting started with something.
I think what it all comes down to is that I still haven't found "my passion", the thing I really love doing.
Part of my problem is that
I have this idea in my head that once I start something, I absolutely have to finish it. I can't decide "I don't like this/want to do this anymore" and just quit. I've always been like that (it's how I managed to get through dentistry even though there were many many times when I considered just giving up and doing something else), and being persistent is probably a good trait, but it's also been holding me back because I'm reluctant to try something if I'm not certain I will enjoy it.
I realise that is silly though - how are you ever going to find out what you do/don't like if you don't give things a go? So I've been brainstorming and setting out some goals for myself. I'm still working on it, but I'm feeling much more positive and excited about life now!
One of the things that I am pretty happy about is the fact that I actually started this blog! It's been a fun hobby, but I still feel uncomfortable telling people about it. That's another thing I need to work on - not caring so much about what other people think! Ah well... baby steps... I'll get there eventually! :)
I'll leave it at that for tonight. This post actually turned out to be a lot longer and more rambly than intended... but it's kind of been therapeutic, actually writing my thoughts down! (Well done if you managed to get this far)
Anyway, I hope you're having a lovely Saturday night!
Lots of Love
Lauren
xxx
